Once upon a time there was a band of valiant robbers.
You know, there's no university of grifting.
I know.
There's no college in con.
Just learn on the job.
Exactly.
I mean, how's this, on the job?
I mean, we're doing nothing.
I thought we always worked as a team.
The siamese twins of good leadership...
Innovation and delegation.
Sometimes you gotta learn when to stand back and let the others shine.
You know, solid leadership is the key to success.
This one, I mean.
By the close of play today we'll be 30 grand richer.
Albert, pro that he is,
has found us a very promising mark
in a very unpromising location.
You know, finding a great mark, it ain't enough.
You gotta be able to play him, tease him, mold him,
manipulate him,
maybe even throw in a little bit of ground bait.
I think you might've dropped this.
You've got to make him think you're a stand up sort of guy, on the one hand.
- To gain a bit of trust. - Exactly.
Beef up the trust, ladle on a portion of intrigue.
Because when the mark next sees our roper,
he has to be sufficiently curious to step over the line.
- What line? - The line.
The line that separates civilians from suckers, honest from dishonest.
So this stuff with the envelope, that's bait, yeah?
That's a gravy moment.
Ah, hello again.
Would you like to join us?
There's a great big roast turkey in the oven,
but you don't know it's there until...
Until you see the gravy bum.
You hear me?
He smells Albert's gravy and he wants some.
Now Ash, Ash plays a commercial banker,
one who's on the hunt of a very long and very early retirement,
whilst Albert is a market inspector, petty official,
not adverse to the old backhanded little bit of hankypanky.
You know, Ash plays a great banker.
He's respectable but, you know, a little bit dodgy,
and he tells our greedy friend that he has...
unlimited and unhindered access to foreign currency exchanges,
millions of them.
Dollars to pounds, pounds to yen,
yen to euros, that sort of thing.
And there's always some left over.
Institutional size currency rarely exchanges exactly,
and what I've developed is a means of removing
the surplus foreign currency in cash.
He sells me the foreign currency at half price,
then I make the exchange and keep the profit.
Half price?
Greed is what fuels the currency side.
After the gravy moment starts all his juices flowing,
then bosh, along comes the convincer.
A nice, fat wad of fresh grubby cash.
Then, uh, you win his confidence by letting him swap
a few hundred pound sterling for twice as much currency.
Critical moment here, Billy.
At this precise moment in time, the mark is ahead.
We've given him more money than he's given us,
which is why the roper needs to find the right man.
Take Mr. Yakubi, for example.
He loves anything dodgy,
black market goods exploitation, you name it.
Slippery as an eel,
which is why we'll be here,
right next door, ready to spring into action
if they need backup.
Because once the inside man has sufficiently whetted his appetite,
there's no way the mark can resist being lured
into just one more trade... The big one.
This is the moment he's been waiting for,
because it's no longer just a few hundred.
This time the bar's been packed a whole lot higher.
Once he's swallowed the hook, then we move in for the kill.
Once the money's passed, then comes the jamaican switch.
We get the money back we've just given him.
Make a clean getaway and we're good to go.
At this stage, very little can go wrong.
No good, no good.
Where's Billy?
Gone.
It's a bit early for drinks, isn't it?
- Boat drinks. - Ah, boat drinks.
You truly know when sipping a tall glass
at the back of a boat at sunset that life is good.
But we're in a flat in London and it's morning.
Congratulations, Danny. You've taken charge of your little crew admirably.
Cheers!
Hey, I found him.
- Who? - Our next mark.
What mark? We haven't got a con.
The currency slide.
I scoped out a real 24-carat peach.
But we've just done the slide.
I know.
Believe me, look, this mark's perfect.
No, no, Billy. No, no, no.
We never do the same con twice in a row,
so we can't do the currency slide again.
But-but why not?
Ancient grifter wisdom.
Handed down on tablets of stone.
Even when it's a sure thing?
Especially when it's a sure thing.
Twice would just be once too many.
You said I could finger the next mark,
find him, sauce him out, read him.
I've done it.
Look, I found him.
I said maybe.
O-only maybe.
All right, he wants to learn about being a roper.
Ah... And you were gonna teach him.
No... I mean, obviously Albert would,
you know, specifics, details.
I'd just be more like a overall thing, you know.
What do you call it?
Like a reform teacher.
Mentor, you said.
Mentor?
Was that the word?
- I don't remember saying it. - Look, I'm a grifter.
I know I'm not in the same league as you guys,
but I'm hungry. I want to learn.
Come on, gang, eh?
We got the guys spirits up, yeah. Team huddle.
Billy, looking for the perfect mark for the slide
is not a straightforward job.
I mean, he-he has to be...
Greedy.
A gambler.
Basically dishonest.
Well, yes, yeah, yeah.
And the mark needs to be primed.
He or she needs to be hooked with a generous convincer.
Think that'll convince him?
Billy, it's not that we don't think you can do it.
'cause we do.
Of course we do.
It's just against the rules.
No one's doubting your ability, Billy.
I understand.
You got rules.
I should know my place.
No, definitely not.
No, absolutely not.
No, no, no.
Well, yes and no.
What Danny is trying to say is that even in our profession
there are always exceptions to rules.
Exactly what I was getting to.
Exactly.
So, you take Albert, you show him your mark,
Albie gives him the big thumbs up.
Bosh.
So I'm thinking someone in imports.
Someone needing to buy, you know, deal, whatever,
in a foreign currency, someone who's bent,
or at least bent-ish.
And of course, someone who thinks he's way too clever to be caught.
And I found him.
His name is edwin.
He owns a caviar shop.
Right, gentlemen. Let me get this right.
125 grams of the uranium gold, and a 50 grand tin of the sevruga.
Shame there's no bloody beluga left.
It's a tragedy.
I love beluga.
Sadly, there's nothing quite like it.
No. Once you've tasted a little bit of heaven.
I know.
I blame those bloody eco warrior bunny huggers.
Soon as they got an eco protection order
slapped on the beluga sturgeon,
whole bloody business has dried up.
Well, not the whole trade.
I have my own private supplier.
Caviar business, it's all about cash.
Beluga caviar,
the most expensive fish eggs in the world.
Expensive and illegal.
The beluga sturgeon is practically extinct and, uh,
inside this tin is the remains of a very rare animal,
and not just its remains, its-its eggs,
its only hope of every breeding canned.
With the right cash edwin here can put his hands on a never-ending supply.
You've chosen very wisely, Billy.
Thanks, Albert.
Just a pity he won't be around to work our magic upon.
He'll be around.
We do a good job on the convincer and we skin him alive.
No we won't, 'cause he's flying to another country, very shortly.
He won't be here for us to cash in.
He's flying east, 2,000 miles approximately,
crossing through four time zones ahead.
You see, he's already wearing his twin zone watch in preparation.
His envelope, franken logo of Maslov Air.
That's one of the few airlines flying into Dagestan.
Buying trip.
So he's got to get his hands on a lot of money.
You're absolutely right.
What currency do you need to buy illegal caviar?
Rubles.
Gangs of mafia controlled pirate fisherman organize the trade.
They like rubles.
Russian mafia?
I'll tell ya now, we don't want any of that.
Don't worry. I don't think edwin's involved with the mafia gang,
but he has to deal with them.
I'm afraid he's going to be leaving us tomorrow or the next day.
Well, it's just bad luck.
Or very good luck.
He's about to leave the country.
He's desperate for currency.
Yeah, but it's too soon.
We haven't had a chance to chuck in the convincer.
Maybe we don't need to.
So you're saying what if this mark doesn't need convincing.
Spooky.
It's like you read my mind.
I'm saying our edwin might already be convinced.
Indeed, a variation on the currency slide could work,
if your mark is so desperate for a particular
foreign currency that he doesn't need any convincing.
Don't give me!
Most exchanges in this country
will only let you change small amounts,
so edwin will be worried about not getting enough rubles
and pissing off some seriously cold blooded russian on his own turf
on the deepest darkest fringes of the Caspian sea.
Edwin is desperate.
Desperate is good.
In a mark, desperate is an admirable quality.
All right. Okay.
Let's say he's flying to Dagestan in the next day or two.
He needs rubles for the buy.
Well, it's a lawless place and those fishermen need something
they can use immediately, something that's fireproof.
Globally, rubles are in short supply.
Russian treasury keep a tight grip.
Can we get our hands on rubles?
Oh, please.
No, I mean 30 grand's worth in the next two hours?
I'm hurt you should even ask.
- Post. - All right, mate.
Where have them two gone? I just pulled their drinks.
Don't worry, edward.
We'll drink them.
Well, you'll have for them and all then.
Oh, we'll pay for 'em.
In fact, I'll pay for all the drinks.
I will buy a round.
It's nine pound 20.
Keep the change.
All right, what is it?
- What? - What?
- What are you gonna do to me? - I'm paying ya.
I'm tipping ya.
Simple, yet rewarding transaction.
No, this is too weird.
No, I'll leave it. It can wait with all the rest.
Eddie, Edward, Ed.
Just take the tenner.
No.
You got the wrong bloke.
No, not me.
I'm not interested.
If we do this, it ain't for bread.
It ain't even for cake.
It's purely icing.
Any grifter that is in this game purely for his own entertainment
isn't going to be at liberty for long.
You're right.
But I think we need to do this for Billy.
He found us a mark with huge potential, and what?
Now we're gonna piss on his parade just because
of some ancient grifter superstition?
That is the reason why we never do the same con twice in a row.
An interesting point actually because technically we're not.
Now, if Ash can get the rubles...
Then Billy baits him and creates a little gravy moment.
Well, then it's totally edwin's choice whether he bites or not.
Sorry.
I have rubles.
I need pounds of sterling.
How much can I change?
One hundred maximum.
Okay.
My boss, you know, he gives me all of my men's wages in rubles.
It's better to send home.
But my men, they-they want sterling money for drinking.
It's 100 maximum.
Excuse me.
Uh, I make an oath.
You know, I-I don't speak my language in other man's country.
If I am learn English, I speak only English.
That's very admirable.
Now, about this currency.
Oh, I love it. I love it. Do your accent again.
You're very accomplished.
You have real talent for improvisation. You ought to explore it, you know.
Being able to ad-lib your way out of a tight corner...
You sure none of you lot have seen my phone?
I don't trust you. Especially you.
You could be cloning it or somethin'.
And I'll get a phone bill the size of...
Well, just ring it.
Ring it from the bar phone, Eddie.
You probably put it down somewhere.
I could've swore I left it on the bar.
This is a trick.
This is you doing your...
Oh, Danny, give him his phone back.
Ring your bleeding phone.
Eddie, get behind the bar, ring it.
It's probably fallen down the back or something.
- Ring it. - It's ringing.
No answer to the phone.
So where is it?
Ignore him. All right. He's having a senior moment.
Right, you thought any more about
how you're gonna choreograph the switch?
Yeah, of course. I've got it all mapped out.
There's two cases, identical.
One's full of rubles.
The other isn't.
The one he's carrying he's cashed in.
We keep these tight behind the booth nearest to the door
so I can, you know, do the switch.
And when he comes down the stairs at 05:00 p.m.,
and I told him to be prompt, and we gotta make sure that he...
Edwin comes down the stairs?
Where?
You don't mean here?
Let me get this right.
You set up the switch in our bar?
- Yeah, that's right. - Are you out of your mind?
I'll be right over.
Lovely job.
Right. I've got to get my phone. It's been handed in.
So, uh, you're in charge.
- Me? - All of ya.
Anyone comes in for a drink,
you take their money and you put it in the till.
Take their money, do the thing,
and put the money in the till, yeah? Okay. Yeah. Got it.
And no helping yourself. All right?
Definitely, definitely not.
Of course. Oh, no, no.
All right, man.
See you later.
All right, what you want?
You have heard the expression
don't poop on your stoop, yeah?
Yeah, but I-I thought it through.
There's more stuff that could go wrong if we did it somewhere else.
Oh, Billy, we just don't do it.
Oh, but Stacie, come on...
Hello. Look who's here.
My first customer.
All right. Sorry, sir.
What can I get you, boss?
What do you want? A pint of lager?
Bitzer?
Babycham?
Pint of sake?
Who's this then?
This-this, my friend, is a very quiet oriental man.
What do you want? A drink?
Maybe he's a friend of Eddie's.
You a friend of Eddie's?
Well, maybe we should call Eddie.
He might've caught up with his phone already.
Oh, it's ringing.
- You can hear it ringing? - Yeah, I can hear something.
Where is it?
I knew he'd left it here.
Sorry, mate. I just, uh, where's Eddie?
And how comes you got Eddie's phone?
Where's Eddie?
Eddie lost his phone and this gentleman found it.
Yeah, so what's he waiting for?
Reward.
Okay.
This time makes time number three.
Where is Eddie?
My friend asked you a question.
Direct and polite.
Where is Eddie...
Are you looking to get your face smashed in?
Be careful, Billy.
No, that man needs to be careful.
You move closer, I snap wrist.
I think first we should find out where Eddie is.
Now you will sit.
I think it's only fair just to let you know that
we don't keep any money or valuables on the property.
Except, what's in the till.
And listen, you're more than welcome to that.
But what about Eddie?
Eddie's not gonna quiver over a few quid,
not in exchange for us getting murdered.
I meant what-what has he done with Eddie?
What do you want from us?
Honor.
Honor?
I don't get it.
My father.
Do we know your father?
I mean, do we?
Yeah, and wh-what's this got to do with Eddie?
Uh, yeah, or us?
We don't know what you're talking about,
and we definitely don't know your...
Father.
Well, it's what we've always done.
I know, but it's unprofessional.
I mean, we fill a dummy briefcase
full of random piles of snipped up newsprint.
It-it's a bit shoddy.
No, no, no. We have experimented.
We used, uh, travel brochures, paper towels.
We got rid of those two jeffrey archer novels in that gig in jersey.
Well, I thought...
We should do a proper piece of a search and development
to determine in a jamaican switch
which is the optimum substitute for banded cash.
Weight and rattle obviously an issue.
It has to weigh the same, sound right.
I like it. This is proper, thinking ahead, tweaking a technique.
1,000 pounds in 20's
weighs exactly 53.5 grams, right?
This is the book of instant duplicate sales and ledger invoice receipts.
It is made of paper, it is bound,
and it weighs exactly 54 grams.
It's a beautiful thing.
I'm sorry, mate.
You're not making any sense at all.
Are you sure you got the right place?
I mean, look, that's just a book of invoice thingamajiggys, isn't it?
Never seen it before in my life.
And none of us have ever seen or heard
of any contact with your father.
We've never met your father. I'm sorry.
Maybe we can do a deal.
You bring shame to my family, to my father.
Look, mate, he lost some money.
You really don't want to take this stuff too seriously.
It's what we do, we con... Shut up, Danny.
Which one did this?
Boss must eat first.
Fugu.
Fu who?
What exactly is it? Sushi, is it?
I can do sushi.
A bit of raw fish, isn't it?
It's a puffer fish.
So?
Parts of the puffer fish contain an neurotoxin
potent enough to kill a man in less than a minute.
If it's wrongly prepared.
Wrongly cut by the chef so accidentally the toxin has leaked into the flesh.
Or on purpose.
Stupid, isn't it?
I mean, nobody's gonna eat sushi that's gonna kill you, are they?
In the yakuza culture it is a supreme act of defiance
to stare death in the face.
Yes, death.
One piece touched.
You're telling me that one piece of this fish is poisonous?
Boss will eat first.
You're saying one piece has touched the knife.
What knife?
Fugu contains such extreme toxin
that only licensed fugu chefs are allowed to prepare it.
Training takes ten years.
It's the liver that contains tetrodotoxin,
a poison 1,200 times more powerful than cyanide.
The flesh of the puffer fish isn't poisonous.
They use two knives.
The short one for eviscerating internal organs.
The large one for cutting flesh.
But the short knife has touched one piece.
Look, son, I don't even know your name.
That's cool. No names.
We all enjoy a little anonymity here.
I just think put it on paper,
set our position crystal clear, okay.
We ain't gonna eat anything that could, should, would,
or even might be a little bit moody.
Now, I am the boss here,
and it is me who is responsible for any shame to your father.
Albert.
He's lying.
I'm the boss.
What's going on?
These are men.
They are far, far too stupid to be boss. I am the boss.
Like you wish.
Look at me.
Hey, kung-fu man!
Look at me.
I is the boss, yeah.
If you believe that, mate, you're gonna believe anything.
What?
All right.
None of these is boss.
I'm the boss.
Then you eat first.
No.
I ain't gonna do it.
And you know what?
You can't make me.
Eat.
Okay, I'll eat.
I'll eat.
Don't touch Eddie, though.
All right?
Give me a piece.
Let fate decide who die.
No wait!
This isn't honor.
This isn't right. Not-not bushido.
Boss should not go first,
not if he is truly responsible.
Yeah, that's right.
First time around should be the easiest.
Think about it. Do the math.
Odds to kick off are five to one.
Surely boss is better to go third or fourth round
when the odds get shorter, three to one, two to one, until finally.
Thanks, Ash. I'm just trying to do the right thing here.
Odds get shorter
unless someone else gets unlucky and they go first.
- Then all bets are off. - Exactly.
What exactly are the odds?
Well, it's a simple matter of ramp the escalation.
The odds shorten with all the remaining players that are rated 20 to one.
Yeah, you know, it's a little bit like, chase the ace, isn't it?
So when is the safest time to go?
Well, it depends what model you calculate your odds by.
And your position in the pecking order.
You being a minor rank will probably go last,
which of course, not so great.
You get to that last point, no one else is dead, and you...
Eat.
All right, so I get a choice, yeah?
Death by poison or, uh, or my throat cut.
It's all right.
I'm cool.
We're cool, aren't we, mate?
Just having a little, uh, debate here.
You see, I'm not convinced
eating the fish is my best option.
I'm just thinking... if I don't eat the fish,
will he really cut my...
- Eat. - Yeah. Okay.
I'm eating.
How long does it take if it's...
A minute or two tops.
You'll feel a tingling on your lips
if the fugu toxin is present.
So I might've just eaten my last mouthful then.
My whole body's tingling.
Your heartbeat will accelerate.
You'll have a sense of nausea,
shortness of breath, dizziness.
I got all those.
Is there any antidote?
No antitoxin.
Fugu a lesson in beauty, pleasure, and death.
But you're not dying.
Not worthy.
Not worthy?
You next.
No, no. No, me next.
- You let me go next. - No, it's my turn, isn't it?
Sorry, mate, can I just confirm?
Does that mean I'm definitely not gonna die?
I think I should go next.
I'm next in command.
Who says?
As I'm, uh, no longer in the line,
maybe I shouldn't have a little say in this but, uh,
seems to me that, next in line from a seniority point of view.
You eat.
Whoa, whoa. Oh, mate.
You're jumping all over the chain of command here.
All right, I really think it's better, all right,
you come back tomorrow when you got a much clearer picture
of how everything's run here...
Eat.
You dishonor my father.
You bring him shame and make him soft and weak.
I think it was your father's greed that made him weak.
Tell me, how deep was your father's shame?
Warrior who is disgraced can redeem himself only one way.
Saboku.
He committed saboku?
Is that as bad as it sounds?
A fallen warrior can still die a hero by committing a ritual.
You have no honor.
You thieves.
You live by lies.
We do have honor.
We have a code.
Eye for an eye.
A life for a life.
Not quite so brutal, we're a little bit more
evolved in this neck of the woods.
We do have honor.
Then show me.
Help him!
Help him, please! Oh, God, do something!
This man is like a father to me.
This man is worth 20 men!
If he dies, mate, I swear to God I'm gonna find you
and then I'm gonna kill ya,
and then I'll kill you again!
You heartless little shit!
No, it's all right, Stacie.
It's all right.
He knows.
You never seen man die from fugu.
He not die like this.
Oh, give me a break.
Tetrodotoxin, the most lethal of neurotoxin,
it works by blocking all the channels to the brain
to produce a rapid and violent death.
See? You have no honor.
Symptoms include muscle twitching,
horrific chest pain and respiratory distress.
You are cheat.
Yeah? What part of my death didn't look right then, eh?
For what it's worth, I thought it was a bloody good effort.
Thank you very much.
- Got you, didn't it? - No.
Yes, it did. No.
Sit down.
Bloody did.
Sit!
Now, just two fugu.
Excuse me.
You talk about honor, what a big deal it is,
and you're about to kill a woman and an old man.
Sorry, Albie.
I mean, please tell me, where is the honor in that?
It is fate who decides which one will die.
Oh, right. So what you're telling me is
if we choose the piece of fugu, then it's not your fault.
Bullshit!
Way to go, Stace.
Looks like you're jumping right to the front of the fugu cue.
How could a death bring you honor?
Blood revenge.
Eye for an eye.
So you think killing one of us is your duty?
Well, for our team, our family,
we honor each other in life, not just in death.
For us, honor is about care and protection and love, not revenge.
Let me eat both of those, both fugi.
For me.
Let me have my honor.
No, Albie. I won't allow it. No way.
Touch the box and I call for your friend to be hurt.
Tell me about your honor.
It was me.
I was the one who chose your father to be the victim of our crime.
I am what we call the roper.
I calculate the risks and suitability of the mark,
or the victim.
When I saw your father, I-I saw not honor.
I saw greed.
I saw weakness.
I saw a big, fat pig ready to be taken to the slaughter.
This is real smooth talking, Albie.
I chose your father.
My responsibility.
But I didn't take away his honor,
and we didn't take away his honor.
He lost his honor a long, long time ago.
Oh. Go ahead.
Cut my throat.
Kill me. Huh?
Let me bleed to death in this chair.
My blood, is that the honor you want?
All right. Everybody just...
All right, listen,
just ignore everything that he just said, okay,
'cause what he meant to say was... How much?
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Just how much to make you go away, hey?
You offer me money for my father's honor?
Yeah, it usually works.
Go on, go on, name your price.
I mean, just how precious was this honor?
I-I know where there's a lot of money.
A whole case full of money,
and it's just over there.
If you let me stand up, yeah, I'll go and get it,
bring it back here,
I'll give it to you,
and you-you can have it.
All of it. All our money.
I'm gonna stand up now.
Everybody's cool.
This is a good plan.
This is a leader's plan.
Good leadership is defined by clear decision making and direct action.
Once a man has truly accepted his role as a leader,
once he's given himself willingly to the office of leadership,
then, and only then
will he discover the true power that lurks deep within.
Danny, I was so scared.
I thought you...
Oh, my hero.
Sit.
Sit!
You insult my father, # my family.
Money cannot buy honor.
Only death.
Then kill me.
Kill me!
Who was that?
Lie down.
Now!
You next.
Lie down. What's the matter?
What's happened? Lie down.
You, down.
Down! Move!
Don't move, don't talk.
Anybody move, anybody talk, your friend dies.
- You all right? - Yeah, yeah.
Is he gone?
Yeah, I think so.
Where has he gone?
Yeah, and where's Eddie?
Come on!
Get me out of this.
Which way?
You go that way. I'll meet you around the corner.
Hey, they're gone, the cases.
The little bastard has stolen the briefcases.
- He took everything. - Oh, bloody hell.
It was you who said we had lots of money.
Well, I stopped him chopping Albert's bleeding head off.
Forget the money.
They've still got Eddie.
She wasn't there, and then she was.
Get an ambulance.
Put her into recovery position. I'll get a blanket.
I need an ambulance, please.
Hey, that's him. That's the mark.
Don't let him see you.
Hey! Wait! That's my case.
Um, what just happened?
I may be mistaken, but I think we just got screwed.
I don't care about the money. They've still got Eddie.
They? Who?
Who are we dealing with here?
The phone.
Eddie's phone.
Check the caller I.d.
See who just called.
No chance. It'll be without.
No, no. There's a number. Local. What's this?
- All right, ring it. - That's a bad idea.
What? No. Billy's right.
What if calling the number is some sort of signal to whoever's got Eddie?
What else are we gonna do?
I think it's a good idea, too. I don't think we should just sit here.
That wasn't here earlier.
That's new post.
We don't get two deliveries a day.
No one gets two deliveries a day.
Here.
No, this is today's mail.
So earlier.
Post.
All right, mate.
Hey, where have them two gone?
I just poured their drinks.
Someone faked being a postman just to get Eddie's phone.
So they could get Eddie out of the bar.
Eddie, are you okay?
What happened?
What did they do to you?
Um, foot massage,
and-and that thing where they stick needles in you,
the, um... Acupuncture.
Yeah, that's it.
Who did?
Oh, sweet Mary mother.
What? Jeez!
I've only been gone a couple of hours and you...
Eddie, this really isn't how it looks.
- Really. - Oh, I see. No, I get it.
So that's what the all the,
"Eddie are you all right?" that's what all that was about,
and here's me thinking that you actually cared.
Eddie, mate, where have you been?
Well, I got a call from that girl
who said my phone had been handed in at her shop.
Girl?
So when I get around there...
Hello. Uh, now, look.
Now, look, I'm still waiting on my phone.
Listen, where's the girl that speaks English?
No, she said - she said she'd just gone to fetch the phone.
Where was this place, Eddie?
Castleby street.
You know, the one next to that posh japanese restaurant.
That sounds like the place that me and you...
Is that my phone?
What's that doing there?
Who had that?
Which bloody one of ya?
Oh, I see. You set me up to get me out of the way,
so you get up to some of your bloody monkey business.
Eddie, let me explain. No!
You lot must think I'm softer than a bunny's ass.
Well, that's it. I'm not standing for this anymore.
Not this time.
This time none of ya are going anywhere until this place
is put back exactly like it was when I left.
How did we not see that coming?
You got any idea when he got onto us?
The photo.
That was taken at the switch.
Yeah, but how?
I kept my eye on anyone in that club that even smelled of a threat.
Come to think of it, there was a little girl.
But how could she be a threat?
And what's her link to Mr. Samurai?
He wasn't just onto us.
He was way ahead of us.
He knew everything.
But how, for God sake?
And how could he then know about edwin?
Unless he was watching Billy.
No, no, no.
Look, when I met edwin, wasn't no other guys in range.
No faces watching us, no tell, nothing.
I don't miss stuff like that.
He even knew what we packed in the dummy case.
It's beautiful.
Absolutely exquisite.
I have to say I love it.
I think we've been honored.
We've witnessed a truly great performance.
But he cheated you... Us.
He spun a beautiful web, Billy,
and we climbed right in, willingly.
Made us feel guilty.
It's like we crossed a forbidden line,
wronged an honorable man who's only recourse was to take his own life.
Why did he need to get Eddie out of the way?
Leverage.
He couldn't scare us enough with...
And he could lever us with Eddie's kidnapping.
Smart.
Well, whoever he is, he got moves.
Yeah, well, we might never find out who he is.
It might be just one of those weird unexplained things.
So we were terrorized by pieces of fish that weren't poisonous.
So it would seem.
Something doesn't add up.
They might've been poisonous.
No, no chance.
That's how he knew I was acting being poisoned.
They must've been fakes.
- Come on, Danny... - Or, you were not a very good actor.
Oh, please. Come... I was bang on the money.
Speedy reaction, range of symptoms, the spasms, the spittle.
Without a doubt, the second great performance of the day.
Yeah, you're just numb 'cause I got you good and proper with me...
No, you didn't.
"oh, this man was like a father to me."
sorry, Danny, but, um, how many men was I worth?
You know, there are times when watching you two
swinging your at each other is quite funny,
but we've just lost 45 grand
and we're still scratching our heads trying to figure out how, and who.
He's obviously a very talented grifter.
No, no, no. He's not a grifter.
I mean, not a grifter as we know it.
I mean, he's way too far out of the box for that.
The saboku thing and the fugu thing
and the bizarre russian roulette fish eating thing.
Yeah, wouldn't you just love to do something like that, hey?
It's inspiring, yes.
Ooh! Makes me tingle.
Well, I'm not tingling,
but I'm gonna get to the bottom of this if it's the last thing I do.
We need to do a surgical postmortem on every move
we've made in the last few days.
If we look at this long enough, hard enough, we'll see the crack.
Okay, we start by each making a detailed personal log.
Guys, guys.
The thing is, and I'm not saying this is definite,
not by any stretch of the imagination,
but there was a moment.
Yeah, solid leadership is the key to success.
By the close of play today, son,
we're gonna be 30 grand richer.
I blabbed about the con.
I botched up. I got a big mouth.
I'm an idiot.
Yep, yep, yep. All of these things are true.
That's why we never do the same con twice in a row.
So it wasn't my fault.
This happened because we broke the rules.
No. It was your fault.
Definitely.
Without a shadow of a doubt.
He's a creepy fat minger.
Am I or am I not a criminal genius?
Don't get any big ideas, sis.
This is a one hit deal. We agreed.
We got more than enough now.
I'm a genius.
So, by tricking the valiant robbers,
the clever girl and her handsome brother
earned their freedom from the cruel landlord who had enslaved them.
Her brother was not greedy, sharing his treasure
with those who still worked for the nasty man.
He had dreamt of becoming a samurai and slaying that evil master,
but the little girl had a much better plan.
Oh, Danny, I don't know.
Maybe you'll learn something.
Maybe making a really, really bad, costly,
expensive mistake might actually teach you something.
Yeah, well, you know.
Guys, I should've been - should've been watching your backs.
I should've been there for ya, and I wasn't and, uh, I'm sorry.
Totally off the bowl, a little bit cocky.
And complacent.
A little bit, yeah.
- And arrogant. - Maybe.
And selfish, conceited, slapdash,
vain, careless, pigheaded...
The brother was very proud of his sister
and her criminal mastermind.
The little girl had many more clever plans, but her brother said, "no.
"no more tricking valiant robbers."
instead, they would make a new life together, an honest life,
a life where they would never be sad again.